need another drink. this is the easiest way
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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