pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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