This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
