I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
