You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
