I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize