i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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