ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
A bitchslap is in order.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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