I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
