she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
