this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize