All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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