My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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