Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
