Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize