Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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