You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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