so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
