Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
