Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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