I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
