Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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