There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
