We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
