Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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