You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
