she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
