I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you inspire me to be a worse person
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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