Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
