This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
