she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
