I will die if light touches me.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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