I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
