Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
