I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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