Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
now i know why i became what i already was.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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