I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think my vagina is haunted
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize