so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
