I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
