I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
