I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
