Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
