Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
