I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
