To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
