The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
