yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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