I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
