Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize