You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
