Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
