it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
