i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
