Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
