Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
