It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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