I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
