She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
