There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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