I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She said her name was "party"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
